Extracurricular Distress.

In Ponder, Real Life No Gimmicks on November 23, 2010 at 13:49

I have an exercise for you.

Think of all the additional problems, headaches, heartaches, drama, troubles, [insert whatever] and anything else that’s unsatisfactory that is directly affecting your life. When I say additional, I mean things that don’t directly involve you, yet they have a direct impact on you. Other people’s problems. Examples: Your girlfriend/boyfriend is unemployed, your brother doesn’t have his rent, your cousin doesn’t have any gas money to get to work, but the truth of the matter is they NEVER do.

This is what I call extracurricular distress, because this is shit you have to sign up for. Like in high school when you joined the softball team, that wasn’t a requirement of your school studies, you volunteered your time to that, independent of all your regular commitments.

Follow me.

The fact that your bff keeps getting involved in fcuked up relationships after you’ve consoled them, allowed them to move in with you, took care of them, loved them, been there for them, has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you. You keep giving your all and advising them to let go and move on, but they keep going back. You’re stressed out, haven’t had a good night’s rest in days, your aura is off, your attitude is bad, and you’re upset with the world because of Extracurricular Distress!

Redirect your energy.

I’m not advising being a horrible friend, mother, sister, brother, lover, [insert whatever]. Be the best that you can be, always, to everyone, in everything that you do. But when you see that things are growing beyond you in reference to other people’s lives, don’t sign up for it. You know your cousin doesn’t have gas money for work, but they NEVER do, you’re probably not the only person they can get it from. Stop stressing out, take a deep breath. Same with your brother and mate, if they haven’t been looking for a job, maybe they don’t want one — you wanting that job for them, more than they do isn’t going to supply them with one. Either find a new mate or accept their unemployed status, but stop worrying, that’s extra. Your brother isn’t concerned about his rent because he spent the money on something frivolous because he knew you’d bell him out, like you always do. Let this be a new leaf in learning experiences for you both. For you: you’ve learned to say no and you’re not pulling your hair out over HIS problem. For him: he’ll take some responsibility for his actions and deal with the consequences or simply get the money from somewhere else.

This post is for all the worry warts, all the stressed with fevers in which the symptoms don’t even belong to you. Just remember, if it’s extra, then YOU signed up for it.

Release. Let go. Breathe. Wooosah. πŸ˜‰

The ultimate goal at hand is to continue to proceed with life, in a positive direction. Not speaking from expertise, merely speaking from experience. Onward and Upward. Let’s go!

  1. Best advice I’ve seen on a blog in the long long time. Well done you..

  2. Wow. I NEEDED this. I know you wrote it almost a month ago, but me coming across it right now, in this moment, couldn’t have been more timely. Thank you.

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