Pondering Excerpts.

In Mentalization, Ponder on October 18, 2010 at 16:59

“One of the main weaknesses of mankind is the average person’s familiarity with the word “impossible”. He knows all the rules which will not work. He knows all the things which cannot be done,” but he knows not the extent and realm of possibility.

“The reason that so many couples fight is because they want their partners to validate and affirm them, and; if they don’t get that, they feel as though they’re going to die.”

“I am a tree in a story about a forest and its arrogant to believe any differently. The story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.”

What are your thoughts of these independent three? Please share them with me. Let’s indulge in discussion.

  1. The story of the tree contributes to the story of the forest. Without the tree the forest wouldn’t have a story.
    Everyone needs to be loved. What love is is up to one’s definition, being good enough is often always bundled up in that definition. The question becomes am I good enough for this person? The question is directed to the “person” and it is often problematic because the “person” is thinking if you weren’t would I be with you? So yes, most fights, not all, are because of this need to be validated.

  2. I dont think familiarity with “impossible” is the main weakness of mankind. I believe it is man’s perception of the distance TO “possible” that is a little off, as well as man’s desire for instant gratification. Before seeing what can be done, man sees what CANT be done. If he is adventurous, he tries. If he should fail, he sees a task as impossible, instead of seeing the “failure” as the tool that brought him a step closer to the possible. Instead of recognizing where possibility lies, or how to get TO it, man takes to quicker route, which is laced with immediate gratification.

    I can agree with the second. Not in entirety, but I can see truth. We, as people, want to be validated (though few will admit it). For some, it doesnt matter who or where the validation comes from. For those people, being validated by a significant other is not AS important. For those who only wish to be validated by those they love and care for (and expect the same from, in return), NOT being validated CAN be unsettling. It will, in the end lead to unhappiness, bitterness, and a feeling of being unappreciated, even when that isnt the case.

    As T-fadz said, a tree contributes to the story about the forest. The tree, though it is just ONE, contributes to the make up of the ENTIRE forest. It is a small detail within the big picture, and without it, there would be no picture.

    • AJ, thanks for your participation. What you’re saying is fundamentally the same thing that’s been stated. A man’s distance to “possible” and his closeness to “impossible” are inherently saying the same thing, inverted, just arguing a different end to the exact same claim. Ponder your response.

      T-fadz, thanks for your participation as well. I think, perhaps, you both may have misunderstood the excerpt referring to the tree. We, individually, are one tree. I am a tree, AJ is a tree, and T-fadz is a tree. We are all trees independent of one another. So the quote expresses that the forest, which is life and essentially the bigger picture, where everyone exists (all the other trees) is greater than just us, an independently individual tree. And for us to think otherwise, would exude arrogance and overall selfishness, because believe it or not Life is NOT just about us (the one tree), but everything that’s happening around it as well. Does that make sense?

  3. I understand that life, is not just about us. I completely agree that life is “bigger” than the individual tree. But you cannot tell the story of the forest without telling the story of the tree. The story of the forest is better than the tree in the sense that the forest is the whole, it connects individual trees and creates a sort of tapestry woven by the individual tree stories. It is actually beautiful because the story of the forest highlights that we are not independent of one another. Trees interact directly, indirectly, unwittingly and unknowingly. I maybe getting ahead of myself, but I cannot seem to shake the beauty of it all. I hope that makes sense. We are not bigger than life, but we are a part of it and without which there would be no story to tell if there where no trees to make up the forest.

    Ps. I love this site and your daily quotes. Thanks, man.

  4. Fadz, absolutely! I dig you and I can totally sense that you were captivated by it all and that’s the beauty of it. I definitely appreciate you sharing your thoughts and allowing me and others to view them. I appreciate the love, as well. My quest is to positively infect the world, one person at a time. It’s a journey. Thanks for joining!

  5. “Impossible”- i agree whole heatedly that we find out all the rules we shouldn’t break or stumbling blocks first and allow it to effect our personal growth or affect change. we are told as kids to dream big and be ANY thing we want to be… But what happens when we find out life isnt as sweet as they said it would be if only we believed? once you over come the use of the word or belief that the impossible isnt possible your mind will open and you have transcended!

    “The reason many couples fight”– Part of what many REALLY fight over is compromise! it may seen to be about validation but i find at the root of it all, one person feels as thought they are giving/doing more or they are missing the eye-to-eye mark on key issue where compromise is at play. some one is taking more than giving, or both parties are insane for understanding and validation in their compromise. Or better yet there is no compromise at all and there is the struggle for validation with no end in sight because no one will compromise!

    “I am the tree in the forest”– I know that to the universe i am a grain of sand, but my place in the universe is case specific and by no mistake. yes the the big bang is what formed me and my constellation, but there is no other planet like me… i am earth! we are all linked and what you do may effect me and this “forest” for a millennium to come! it is ARROGANT of the forest to think that its story is any more important than the tree that makes it so!

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